10 Signs You’re Hooked on ‘Mad Men’

The TV powerhouse that is AMC’s ‘Mad Men’ has just entered its fifth season. It’s entertaining, smart, honest and completely unafraid to smash social boundaries. Does that sound like a show that would last more than five minutes on network television?

Of course, just like any critically acclaimed TV show, the audience has more than a few rabid fans. Here’s some indications that you might be one of them.

1. You go through so many packs of cigarettes in a single episode that you’ve singlehandedly improved sales of Lucky Strike.

2. You’ve had more heart attacks than the entire cast combined.

3. During your afternoon workout, you bring along a squeeze bottle of freshly shaken martinis.

4. You’ve commissioned a doctor to get a chest just like Joan Holloway’s. You just hope your wife doesn’t find out.

5. You’ve launched a campaign to get Nixon re-elected, even though he’s been dead for eight years.

6. You drink on the job more than a commercial airline pilot.

7. You’ve racked up so many sexual harassment suits that your lawyer has promised you a free set of steak knives for the next one.

8. You’ve gotten so tired of waiting for the seedy plot lines between seasons that you’ve started several inter-office romances at work.

9. You demand a corner office with a view — and you’re a janitor.

10. You’re secretly trying to turn society’s clock back to the 1950s and you’re not running as a Republican.