14 Things People Probably Said About Newt Gingrich’s Plan to Colonize the Moon
Newt Gingrich says he wants to put a base on the moon by 2020, adding he hopes enough people will move there so they can petition to make it a state. If it is part of the US of A, does that mean we’d have to travel 65 miles per hour to get there if we went on a road trip? Because that would take roughly 2,000 years and, quite frankly, who has that kind of time?
That aside, Newt is once again making headlines in his bid for the White House.
Here’s how we’re guessing that celebrities and regular folks have responded to his moon plans.
1. “Maybe we should try to get a man on the moon, first.” — George W. Bush
2. “I figured Newt would want to make open marriage more of a campaign priority.” — His second wife
3. “It sounds to me like Newt is trying to steal the idea for my next movie.” — James Cameron
4. “This is great. That would make an ideal second date on the 2020 edition of our show.” — ‘The Bachelor’ producers
5. “I make so much money I can finance this project myself.” — Mitt Romney
6. “What’s the moon?” — Snooki
7. “This is where we can send Steven Tyler if he threatens to sing the national anthem again.” — The American public
8. “What’s the big deal? I’ve had a time share up there for about 40 years.” — George Jetson
9. “Do not send any of the Kardashians there for a spinoff of any of their shows.” — The American public (again)
10. “The moon? Heck, I’ll colonize the sun by 2016 if re-elected.” — President Obama
11. “Maybe Heidi will take me back if I arrange a romantic vacation up there.” — Seal
12. “Newt can’t colonize the moon because I’m already building condos there.” — Donald Trump
13. “Let me know how I can help. I’ve got some contacts up there. I can also introduce you to people who can help you get to infinity and beyond.” — Buzz Lightyear, noted astronaut
14. “I’m buying the first round after we land!” — Pat Sajak