Iran Is Training an Army of Female Ninjas

Iran might be trying to give the world a new reason to wet its pants with its constant talk of nuclear weapons, and how it’s totally not working on them, you guys, but it, like, totally would if it were OK.

However, this threat may have overshadowed a much greater and deadlier threat than passive-aggressive whining about weapons-grade uranium: their women.



Some new video hit the web recently showing a school in Tehran that has trained women to fight like silent, deadly ninjas. School officials say the program is designed to teach citizens how to protect their country in times of emergency.

And these ladies aren’t just kicking a guy in a giant padded suit in the crotch and screaming “No!”. They are leaping over sharp katanas, dodging heavy bolos and taking each other down hand-to-hand.

The Telegraph of London reports that the school has trained around 3,000 women in the lethal martial art, ranging in age from 5 to 56-years-old. Akbar Faraji, the proprietor of the school, said the purpose of the training is to give them “strength and agility”. He said this will also help him and his students “to do everything in our power to protect our homeland”.

We would make a joke about this, but we really like being able to sleep at night without fear. Although we will note that since the regime in Iran isn’t exactly what you call woman-friendly, we question the wisdom of teaching them how to kill anybody who annoys them silently and anonymously.