Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us and that means people around the world will be trying to get engaged. If you’re one of these lovebirds and are feeling anxious about popping the question, don’t worry. If you let these emotions get the best of you, you might end up chickening out and marrying your cat. We’re not joking.
Amazingly, there are still people on the planet who are connected to the internet, but don’t know that The Onion is not a source for actual news. These dim bulbs and dull knives clearly don’t understand satire, and the fact that it is the basis of all Onion content.
This ignorance is still running so rampant that there is even a blog that posts the Facebook commentary of the slow ones who surf among us. And this time, they found a congressman who fell for a fake story from America’s Finest News Source.
The waiting is almost over and the competitors are drooling in anticipation. The big game is on Sunday. Rawhide bones are being anxiously destroyed, but soon ears will perk and heads will tilt when the first squeaky toy is tossed for 2012′s Puppy Bowl VIII on Animal Planet, Sunday February 5th at 3PM Eastern/Pacific.
The Super Bowl may be played indoors on Sunday, but you should care about the forecast, anyway, because February 5 is National Weatherman’s Day. Technically, there’s no congressional record of it being an official national day, but it’s celebrated because it’s the birthday of one of the first known recorders of weather, John Jeffries, who was born in 1744.
It is so 2011 to be the person at the Super Bowl party who knows all the little statistical factoids about the teams and the game. So how about this year you’re not that guy? How about, this year, you’re the genius who knows all the useless trivia about everything but football on Super Bowl Sunday?
It looms ever closer once again. That day when people who like watching other people chase each other and a little ball around a field for several hours get together to sit in groups and yell at random intervals. You’re social, so you go, but you aren’t that into sports. We understand.
Then: Taran Noah Smith was the awkward, youngest son on the popular ’90s sitcom starring Tim Allen and Patricia Richardson, about an accident-prone dad, “Tim the Toolman Taylor,” who hosted a home improvement television show and his trials and tribulations raising a family. Smith lurked in the shadows of his heartthrob, co-star brothers Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Zachary Ty Bryan.
The wedding of your child is one of life’s most important events. For the most part, couples want to have their parents at their wedding. And, for the most part, parents make their best effort to be there. Schedules are cleared and plans are made.
But what happens if one of the parents suddenly falls ill and is not able to witness the occasion or be in any of the photos? This is exactly what happened to newlyweds Brian and Laura Shoop.
We’re only a month into 2012 and already either the world is ending, aliens are landing or everyone is getting hoaxed. Or, possibly, there’s an actual scientific explanation for the mass amount of YouTube videos capturing bizarre sounds that are being heard around the globe. Are we witnessing the beginning of a full-scale alien invasion?
Hollywood has always been good at getting us into the spirit of things by releasing star-studded holiday themed movies like ‘New Year’s Eve’ or ‘Valentine’s Day’ at appropriate times during the year. This year, NBC’s ‘30 Rock’ has is its own holiday movie to promote. You might recognize some of the cast members.
Who doesn’t love chips? They’re convenient, salty, inexpensive, available just about anywhere and the perfect way to enjoy a delicious dip. Oh, and also they sometimes look like celebrities, video game characters and even Jesus. Wait…what??
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